You've Got to Start Somewhere...
I need someone to go online right now -- to a medical search engine or whatever -- and track down for me the name of the phobia that keeps me from blogging like I should.
I have been putting this off for more than a year so today's blog topic is dealing with fear. Fear of what? Well its not fear of uploading text files to the Internet - that's a simple process. I can do that from my tiny home here in the frozen north of Alaska, with absolutely no difficulty at all. No, sir. Easy as pie. Its not fear of having no readership - I have achieved that, and have maintained it everyday for 51 years if you're a glass-half-full kinda person.
Its fear of not being heard, maybe... fear of being just another drop in the ocean. Or fear of getting it wrong; of angering readers with an opinion or stance. It might be fear of compromising my essence in the face of trying to appeal to the majority of readers. But in the final analysis I believe trying to identify fears is about as valuable as determining which machine gun bullet shattered your favorite lamp; you've obviously got bigger problems, dude!
In the end, I'm just a guy who, after 28 years in an office, decided I'm and artist. First. I may very well wind up being passed over, or unheard, or any number of other things. But not wrong. One of my core beliefs is that the only true failure is to have never tried. Risk doesn't hurt us. Failure doesn't hurt us. Apathy does.
So - I'm "all in."
I heard a wonderful quote many years ago while listening to my friend Bernie describe how she deals with the fears that stop her from living the life she wants. She said "Sometimes I can overpower my fears and push forward. The rest of the time I take my fear by the hand and say 'Come on - let's go!'"